Stop Being Everything All At Once

Stop Being Everything All At Once

Woman holding her head and appearing to scream

Women today wear many hats. They play the role of worker, mother, friend, lover, housekeeper, and even therapist, to name a few. The problem is that there is this expectation that women need to be all of these things at once. I mean, how can you feel sexy and motherly at the same time? I know I sure can’t.

Permission to Not Do It All

If no one has told you yet, I’m going to do it now. It is okay to be the different parts of yourself at separate times. Stop trying to be YOU all at once. You have layers. You have various parts of your personality that fit in at different times. But I mean, hey, no judgments if you do your housekeeping in a sexy maid costume!

The Mental Workload

Women deal with this type of thinking because of what is called the mental workload. This is when we tend to take on a lot more of the organizing and planning within managing our family’s lives. How can you avoid getting overwhelmed by doing it all at once? Make lists, prioritize, share the workload (giving up that control can be hard but necessary), stop multi-tasking, and focus on one thing at a time (I am super guilty of this myself).

The Body Image Pressure

A significant challenge for women is the struggle to be all of the things all of the time. There is no way to compete with the ideal version of beauty when you are knee-deep in dirty diapers or laundry. Not to mention, while you juggle work and maintain relationships. It is problematic that “dream girls” are portrayed as thin, big breasted and flawless but also sports, food-loving, sex maniacs. Come on now! You can’t do it all at once, and it’s not fair that these ideals even exist.

Ideals Are Full of Contradictions

Just like the poem and video “Like a Lady” (if you haven’t watched it yet…it’s a MUST!), there are so many contradictions floating around about all the things women need to be. That’s why it’s up to us to speak up and show each other it’s okay to be real. We need to see more behind the scenes of what life is like as a woman. Gosh darn it all, it’s exhausting! We do so much and are so much to many different people. We need to give ourselves a break and let the different parts of ourselves come to the forefront when we are good and ready.

If you are anything like me, there are a lot of layers to who you are. It’s okay not to want to be actively conscious of all those things all of the time. Because we are wired to be multi-taskers, we often are plagued with feeling overwhelmed. Give yourself permission to be sexy during sexy time and be hardworking at work and a diaper changing ninja when you are with your kids. Because you really can’t be a diaper changing ninja during sexy time, can you?! That just wouldn’t be sexy.

I’m a mommy-wife-daughter-dreamer-writer-foodie-anxious-positive-happy-INFJ-silly-serious woman dammit. Now tell me, who are you?!

Emily is the founding editor of Happy Daughter, a body positive online community for women. She is a body image expert, who is passionate about promoting positive body image, media awareness, and healthy relationships. Emily is getting ready to release her book, Body Positive: A Guide to Loving Your Body in January 2021.

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